vvierd: IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST i dont blame u neither can i
LESSONS YOU CAN LEARN FROM MUSICALS
Stealing a loaf of bread may seem like a good idea, but it will literally fuck up your entire life.
If you get laid, you die. If you don't get laid, you die. Also don't trust your parents.
It's ok to murder people as long as you wear lingerie and can sing and dance.
The King and I:
Racism doesn't count if you sing about it.
My Fair Lady: People will like you if you talk like you have a broom stick up your ass.
Hairspray: In the 60s, people will hate you if you're overweight, UNLESS you also hang out with black people.
AIDS really blows.
A Chorus Line:
If you ever audition for a musical chorus, you better have a goddamn good story as to why you became a dancer.
If your boyfriend doesn't like you, change absolutely everything about yourself to please him.
The Phantom of the Opera:
When choosing between a controlling boyfriend and a sociopath composer with a messed up face who dwells in an opera house's basement, take your sweet damn time.
Rocky Horror Picture Show:
Finding refuge from a storm in a mansion who's owner is a transvestite will make you inexplicably horny, and seemingly bisexual.
…But sticking your fingers down your throat and coughing and then going OH MY...– disenchantED (via catherineofsiena)
ghostlystoner: kapooyah: bellabracha: what even IS american culture it’s just a big ball of different cultures with no set value i don’t get it well that sums it up
lovelylittlehippos: sir-pyllero: hankler-fish: blainestorm: ckweek: squidkneee: phlynn: summer bloggin happened to fast summer bloggin had me a blast I met a friend crazy for me Met a blog, cute as can be tumblr days, drifted away but oohh-oh those tumblr nights TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE, LIKE DID YOU GET AN ASK!? tell me more tell me more did you reblog that ass ...
is everything expensive or am i just poor
itsmelisss: so i searched “ohio man” and got this gem of a headline and thankfully there was a picture along with this story
fasterfood: half of me wants to be a really physically active person but the other half of me is like “nah son” and how can I argue with that
nerdfighter13812: ohanameansfandom: Whenever anyone argues against marriage equality because of their religious views as a Christian I just want to hit them over the head repeatedly with a Bible whilst yelling ADULTERY ISN’T ILLEGAL!! LYING ISN’T ILLEGAL!! DIVORCE ISN’T ILLEGAL!! DISRESPECTING YOUR PARENTS ISN’T ILLEGAL!! WORKING ON THE SABBATH ISN’T ILLEGAL!! WORSHIPPING OTHER GODS...
the-fandoms-are-cool: darrynek: hey kid wanna see a magic trick *reaches behind your ear* ready? *rips your ear off* where’d it go I’m so mad you didn’t say “where’d it van gogh?”
avengemymischief: hanksypanky: Actually Jesus was gay and saw some cute guys and was like “nail me ;)” but the Romans misinterpreted his flirtatious nature #I think I just moved up a level in blasphemy #i’m going to hell #and laughing the whole way there
A guy in my psychology class said he thought...
xxic: i-live-for-glitter-not-you: i-live-for-glitter-not-you Me: Okay so if orientation is a choice, choose to be gay, right now. Him: No. Me: Why not? Him: Because I don’t find men attractive Me: So CHOOSE to find them attractive Him: ……. I can’t. Me: Sorry, WHAT was that? You CAN’T???? stOP THIS IS THE BEST ARGUMENT TOWARDS THIS EVER...